My Nana

I realized today that one year ago was the last time I saw my Nana alive. She was my father's mother and one of my favorite people. She was pig headed, stubborn, loved to argue, and loving as could be with me. We didn't always see eye to eye and often she would make me crazy. Nana had very set ways that I most certainly did not always agree with, but she did try to see my side while I tried to see hers. Whe I was young, maybe around 10 my Nana promised me she would live to be 100 years old. I was very afraid of losing her. Last February she was diagnosised with liver cancer, after a bout with lung cancer a few months earlier in October. The last few weeks of her life she was with hospice in the home she and my Grandpop shared. She was visited by friends and family so that they could say good bye. And visited regularly by her great grandchildren whom she adored. The last time I saw her was on a Sunday, Jasmine and I had gone over after church to see her. She was pretty lucid, which she hadn't been the day before when I visited. As I sat beside her and fed spoonfuls of juice, I asked her "your not going to be here when I come back again, are you?" She shook her head "no". My sister and I got the call while we were at Girl Scouts the next night. We didn't make it in time. But I knew before I got their that she wouldn't be there. I had released her from her long ago promise the week before. I never would want her to suffer, because of me. It will be a year tomorrow since Nana went home to heaven. I know she has had a good time the past year with her friends and family who have departed this earth before her, but I still miss her something terrible. I will sometimes pull out my cellphone, thinking I have to tell Nana this, only to remember she won't be on the other end of the phone. I know that she is in a better place, happy and watching over us all, but I still miss you Nana.

Love Sherry